anger

i will not be angry today - it wastes energy...

I tried. but with some of the pupils that are in today#'s educayion systenm, purposefully pressing all the buttons, swearing in your face, pushing past you intently. Why dio i stay here? the money? the prospect of doing good? i've been ehre, i'm on the same wheel - yet i returned to the uk with the offer of this job being something more, something better, i've been offered the 2ix role in return for? harder work - becomin (as another teacher put it) climatised to the crap we get given from the pupils?
it is not worth it.
feeling like this - that you want to hurt someone - usnure of who though - partly the pupil for getting you here, patrrtly the management structure fpor allwoing these pupils to be in your class, partly the government for letting society plunder into these depths, partly myself for allowing the children to get here...

sigh

how much do yuo have to give until you get back in return? i give and get back pieces of paper that have values to other epopel? a thank you. an appreciation? a parent or pupil giving thanks - rare - ahs happenned - but unsure whetehr it was worht it still...

many typos - not caring - will edit another life time - too mad and bitter right now to care.,