Reflections on home

It´s [potentially*] my last full day in Madrid today. Having just got up and put some washing on (yes, even travellers have laundry issues), I´m now sitting down and thining about where I´m going next. and Why.
Last night I reflected heavily on WHY I´m travellling. I left a relationship, a family who were losing someone close and a lot of friends who, while supportive and caring while I´ve been travelling, I felt I needed the company of in a physical manner (I miss hugs!)
So, chewing the fat with an American called Clayton, examining the aspects of art, tarot, people´s reactions to different things, why films are memorable, wine, doodling, the human subconscious and other topics that arise at 5am (as the wolf leaves the mind), I´m deciding on where to go. And home calls.
I put a question on Facebook and asked people where I should go next, where I should be for Christmas**. The first answer was "go where your heart tells you to".
My heart. The fist sized organ beating in my chest which, if I were to listen to, would tell me to go to lupduplupdup, or more spiritually, ´home´.
Only thing is, where is home? Home is where the heart is. There are so many places and people I know, love, care for, that my heart is scattered about. Am I trying to gather my heart together again? Or is it hidden from me like Mad Hettie´s doll?
to be continued...

* potentially = waiting on wages from work. hopefully will arrive tomorrow as sat. is not a work day in madrid for banking. so if tomorrow, can leave after paying hostel. otherwise, i´m help captive by debt...

** Christmas = many people know me to be pagan, but I still, in a bizarre way, hold Christmas dear. It´s my nan´s birthday, and I enjoy (despite the MANY tales to the opposite told to my friends) the family getting together.