good start

pah
ok - so: single. split amicably but wasn't working [clash of personalities etc.]
just painted my room - yay - feel like a kid and an adult at same time.
about to go buy a smaller roller - hehehe - look at me - all growing up..

last night went for a drive in some chariots, night before found solace in some alcohol -and some more.. and some more. got home at 5. grin
yay - i'm almost reverting to old lifestyle...
but..
not.
don't worry people - all cool - just needing a little more me time then normal service resumed. rejection - who DOES handle it well?

1 month, 7 days, what a difference it can make

Yes.
here has been a disruption to the normal service of random thoughts etc from my head due to a few differing situations in my life.
None of them bad per se, but all of them needing some working out, and without the thoughts of ochers interrupting, no matter how well intended.
There is an ex of mine traveling in search of answers for his spirituality. I have wished him well and hope for all the best for him.
Myself - my spirituality has asked of me one question - am i ready to commit to something more than myself. The chaos and randomness of my life is seeking order yet i refrain from holding it still - letting it wonder I have recently played a priest of Loki, the trickster, and if that wasn't a opportunity to get rid of al the non-committal, I don't know what is. So amused I was to see the latest issue of Touchstone, the druid magazine, discussing Loki - only a little footnote but amusing nonetheless. Something is steering things for me...

I've also, tentatively entered into courting/dating someone - unsure how it is going, but he is a really nice guy, with nothing about him to dissuade me from making a go of it - its just my head space, trying to get a 'fix' on things. perhaps all will fit into place shortly?

work wise - I'm teaching maths full on - having taken the classes of someone else - the school staff are playing political power games to get everyone happy - won't mention names, but needless to say, loyalties are being tested - primarily to self and department, but heck, how do you get things done - druidic learning studying here - diplomacy and subtle words in backgrounds - i feel partially Machiavellian and partly like a character from Shakespeare's tragedies... not Iago, just touchstone...

ah - the looops of thought echoing one another. So now, I am left in a place where there are tents drying round me [not metaphor but wet weather after a really good mayfest LARP], my room is in transference stages - trying to sort out new room from old with stuff - yes mum, will be down soon to collect remainder of stuff..

hugs to everyone reading this - apologies been a long time coming, and if anyone wondering where the emoition is - it's coz i'm knackered. lots going on - this should become a daily writing again shortluy - lemme just get the room sorted first.. which colour...

needing a longer skipping rope

There's a new TV Series starting on channel 4 tomorrow night and it looks gret. I mean GREAT. As in philosophical, musical, linked to everything I stand for and want to be part of.
Its very good - after seeing the trailer - yeah - more please.


in other news - work today informed me that the NUT are striking at my school, resulting in no work on Thrusday - ergo no money for one day work. the irony is, without the pressure, I won't get better money next year and onwards - sigh - the hassle...
did ghandi ever wonder about short term violence for long term peace - no -the conflict too huge - so I'm left with having to sacrifice one day for a better year- when i put it like that - it's not that bad - will ise it constructively - go the horniman museum again and hoefully do some private tutoring...

hope all well with you

of all the people

there was a guy at uni called Chris [will spare him surname] who taught me a lot about people and reactions. He lost it one night, and i mean, LOST it. we're talking temper outta window and mashed up his house.
needless to say, reactions were not favourable. He put some people in their place, pushed many people's boundaries and frankly, acted like a twat.
BUT, and this is important, he realised this and apologised at the time - well a little after but still did it.
I had a lot of respect for him then. Still do - as he has recently got in touch with me facebook [ so yes all of you people non-uni elated can have a quick examination and work out who etc if you get so bored you need to...] - and we've started catcing up on time.
Something he said stuck, reminded me of who I am again- always good that:

"I hope you yourself have managed to make of life what you wanted, of all of us i thought you were the strongest candidate."

What I wanted... - already discussed this at length in previous posts but yeah - what do I want - the druidry thing is good but at moment not grabbing me - or rather i' no picking it up - literally - sitting on the floor- the other person I'm sharing with is busy so no motivation there - perhaps need to get back into full swing first - or am I just being lazy [ don't answer that - i KNOW the answer! ]
hope you're well - I'm now in mixed sleep cycle - again - had a doze and now its three hours later - if i sleep now I'll be up at - exhausting myself now - obviously needed the sleep - but now - now - well, heck - milky ways are yummy...!

i didn't start the fire

food


there's a news story with link above about food shortages. crisis.
meanwhile, in america, many may children recovered from a sect are facing custody.
meanwhile, in tibet...
meanwhile..
meanwhile...

anyone else wanting a big guy in a red cape to come along? or one REALLY LOUD voice to tell us something?
From promethea and Alan moore to variety of religions, things aren't looking good at moemnt.
still - i've had a cheese toastie got a computer and some books so all is ok with the world? sigh - well aware it isn't but unsure which direction to go to...
anyone - pointers please!

last few days

My apologies for not posting more regular but I have decided to rest for a bit. As in do NOTHING.
And that is what I have done. And I feel great for such.
Now - the occurrences so far - well - My friend Ian had a christening and a wedding celebration over the weekend - saw lots of friends - dealt with a few things and generally had a nice time.
Monday was the funeral of Ronnie, met for the first time Ronnie's nieces Elizabeth and Margaret who were very nice, and learnt more about a man who I'd not had the time to previously.
Now - now it is Thursday - I'm all of a muddle as I'm thinking about what needs doing, how it needs doing, when it needs doing by and the remainders of things that can wait [ie tidying room - again!]
lists? ah, maybe...
When I feel like it, I'll fill in more of the emotional side here but needless to say - the last week and a half has been turmolic, but now is settling down again. Onwards...

mayfest

message from ian - one of the two guys i live with :
only two poeple have paid so far - if you wanna go, please get some payment to ian asap or event wont run...