back to statistics

When I was 14, starting ks4 in mathematics, we were asked to examine something for statistics coursework. I started to investigate memory - taking ona huge project and eventually had to whittle it down to something simple [mainly for purpose of marking, research, time etc..]
but the issue stuck. in my memory. loitered in the background.

I went to university. studied philosophy, examined the nature of existence of dentity from a self-perspective, subjective and objective point of view. what are we? a continual temporal being held together by memory.
I remove some part of that chain of events - Monday Tuesday Wednesday Friday and I am left with a gap, indeed, something existentially missing - where was 'i' that day?

this isn't just ramblings - bear with me...

I've just watched a repeat version of Horizon [bbc science program] on memory which examined the idea of memory, scientifically, and the effects and such upon our very thought processes, existence and survival.
I recall events. they in turn become 'malleable' again and are reformed by my reinterpretation of them - i remember my memory of the event, and so on, rather than the actual event -like re-recording the same program on a videotape...
consequences: tape wears out the more i think about it, or, like a muscle, it gets stronger? our memory is created, shaped?, by the synapses, connections between brain cells that form and reform dependant upon our age, chemical balance, health, memory, event, strength of mind...
insert: Magical memory tour - the horizon program had this link - just entered a memory about a time when I was 5, and we made a large yellow papier mache submarine in our first year class. my friends and I hid in it one playtime from the teachers.
Now, returning to my thought track - if I were to remove that event from my memory, what would the consequence be? it didn't happen? no, not a truth - it may have been documented, recalled by others. so it does not stop the truth that, in 1984, a boy of 5 or 6 sat in a classroom with his friends spying on his friends with a periscope.
it did not happen to ME, but a 5 year old i have no connection with? I follow this thought and become mildly scared - the thoughts of being linked with a 5 year old, 24 years ago - time passed etc. I am that boy? I am a 29 year old? I am a 55 year old recalling this memory right now?
time's arrow is straight? we are mental time travellers to cite the program, and yet, with the research being done, I don't think the clues lie with our perception of time being straight but the interaction we have with it.

who am I? I am the person who was here 10 minutes ago, typing this. I am the person who half hour ago was downstairs watching horizon. An hour before that watching Torchwood [and almost crying].
or am I?


SPOILER WARNINGS FOR Fight club, THE PRESTIGE, Memento following
In the listed filmsidentity is tied with memory - filling in details to make our lives convenient or pursuing ideas based upon memory and memory alone. Horizon leads us to believe that we are only memory - and this may indeed be true - without our recall we become entities without identity - if there is no yellow submarine then there is no year old and therefore no childhood friends and no class, no education, no skills learnt and no schooling, no books read, no life from a literary point of view, no teaching, no money no London job etc etc etc
memento has a man working backwards through thoughts, memories, falsely? fight club the characters are dual natured, aspects of the whole - filling in the gaps - creating conflict at times with each other yet both with their own memories - it becomes more than just 'truth' - the characters involved can recall where they were at time x, but the evidence may not be there for such - i was making soap while tyler was blowing up credit building x - who is true?
prestige the same but with more intricacy - the sides know about each other yet still choose to live separate lives.
so identity is ties up with memory - we take that one stage further - and apply law? education?
do we need to rethink our teaching? [yes, but no just for htis revelation...]
our skills are based upon our memory and we learn in different manners, so therefore, qed, we nee to teach according to people's memory styles, not learning styles - we all need to learn how we recall events then teach accordingly - similar to learning [what is learning but memory therefore? is it an application of 'skill'
as well or is this just a facet of memory?]

heck - these toughts always come at 1-2am...
i'll hopefully write more about this altere on - though I say things like this all the time - and never get round to it - I ahve a cthulhu game to run tomorrow night and allI can focus on right now is the ideas that, within herbalism, there are cures for emmory loss and therefore, within tha ey, holds ideas for thoughts about humanity - and i get distracted by some people in my imagination running about looking for clues based on the past life of a guy called Sabine Baring gould.
we are remarkable creatures but at the same time get distracted too easily.
ooh shiny butterfly. enjoy the links - not all as first seeming...

where was I?