My friend James is about to go around Europe. Looking for himself and to make more definite his thoughts for his life. This sounds familiar. Do we all walk a certain path at certain times in our life? I've just come back from going around the British shores, visiting Lake District, Lampeter, North Devon and Frome before I came back to London.
I saw both parents, some good friends and was still - briefly. I saw the power of focusing your attention to one thing and having good teaching - a 14 year old playing violin while another played a piano - both at concert level. One of them, my brother, the other his friend.
I saw a man reunited with his friend and talk as if the years of not seeing each other were moments not two score sans one. My father.
I saw a woman contemplate her familial role, examine her childhood and her relationship with those around herself. My mother.
I stood in a sacred circle talking with a man who also knows Nietsche's abyss, more than I. We talked about the universe, the roles our parents have in our lives and the sum of genetics. We laughed. We became quiet with internal revelations that the other mentioned about his life which echoed within our own.
I researched my family tree, made some lucky discoveries, contemplated the meaning, again, of the seven stars above my head - an image told to me twice now.
I drove in the mornings, daytimes, evenings and night. I scared myself with the ease of tiredness creeping up on a driver and how an accident could occur if the car is not given the respect it deserves.
I dined with family, with friends, and valued more than ever the time taken to eat food - shared with people you care about.
I examined someone's heart, how they felt for me, how they wanted more than I could give them and how I was not, am not, can not be what they need right now.
I observed memories walking down streets of towns passed and past. I remembered Heraclitus and saw that I'd outgrown certain rivers, places, and selfishly, some people too.
I returned home - to London. Where my things are. The detritus that makes up who I am in a physical manner. I slept. Still sleepy.
I tutored students whose parents respect me for doing what almost seems natural now - encouraging people to learn in the manner they find best.
I'm now, slowly, preparing to do this en masse for groups of students with a subject that is not my speciality. Thank goodness for certain websites. I hope you are well, dear reader. Enjoy the next few months before the Saturn wheel has turned fully. I feel that the next two months are gong to be very telling...
