yea -erm - I agree then

said the doc.

If it's not gone in a week,. come back and we'll arrange a dermatologist appt. do at least i have a safety net establishe now.

NOW I can bathe... and get rid of smell...

Do not bathe for 24 hours

That was close - I'd lst the instructions, and thought it may have been twelve - about to shower then thought - no - should be longer - sleep on it - check - and lo behold - 24 hours!

So yes - iching still - funny thing is - one of the side effects- skin irritation - so how do you know?!!

Really hard at moment to try and get the guts to see a doctor - I know they've sen such before but still feel... unclean I suppose...

YouTube - Sesame Street Pinball Cartoon

frankly - this is funk. childhood funk - from the POINTER SISTERS nonetheless - sesame street - you are to blame and to thank

And we wonder why kids today aren't interested in maths - bring this sorta thing back!

12 hours

12 hours I wait while the lotion does its thing. I may not have any skin parasite but having all the symptoms., I'm gonna remove it as an option.

No, not sexual conduct - I think. Just nature of being a personal person and, if you can catch it from a handshake, then half of the world are doomed from my hugs. Question is, apart from the people reading this, how do I tell everyone at my LARP? My friends? I'm going to wait for he delayed time to pass, see if it's any better - if so, prove it was scabies and tell the world - if not, see a doc and save face?!

Well - I didn't ave to write anything but since I've not contacted for a while, and the fact I'm naked bar a dressing gown for the next duration, may as well do something online!

Feel sorry for the cat though - he doesn't understand why he's shut out. That and its nice to have one space I HAVE to stay in.. like a  meditation cell - nature forcing me again to do as I'm bidden...

the first dance

friend 1 and 2 are married - snuck images on facebook - they look wonderful - older, oviously, but wonderful
friend 3 who i had a brief thing with an friend 4 are married - again, wonderful
friend 5 who is a really good mate though we are distant in space, is marrying day before my birthday

I do...

who can I say that to? no-one - not feeling lonely, just wndering about commitment and nature of such - I look at some people, people who's weddings I have attended - others who I've not - and I envy them. They are strong enough in their convictions to know they will be together for a long time - and, in most cases, have already been such - since uni in fact...

Me? I have met a few people but know that I'd have cheated, killed or sabotaged somehow the relationship by now.

"Tired of playing with this bow and arrow... I've been a tempt-er-ess too long..."


I lack something - the hermit stays alone, fixed at his ninth position in the deck, the hanged man chooses when to untie himself and the other major trumps move about. Wisdom to shelter - advisor to others - and myself - I'm repeating the same ieas and thoughts I did when I was 17, 24, 29. Learning - patience. but. and big but. to what end?
In sickness and in health I wait.

Current local time in London - England - U.K.

It's hot. 23 degrees right now. Hot. Stifling. Gonna take a cold shower.

Then head out.

It's LARP weekend - part of me is excited - as always, love the odl crowd and enjoy the faces, feeling par f larger group etc. But, and this is where honesty is never a good thing, I'm also feeling like I'm entering too much escapism - but my real life is not offering anything interesting so as long as I keep the balance in check, things should be ok right>

Right?

Ah - there is the rub - good old Shakespeare to the rescue - To sleep perchance to dream - ay - for who's to say what dreams may come...

I want to sleep. To rest. But also to have a life again - to have people come round and ask to go out - like at uni, like when I was younger and drag me to pubs regardless of whether I felt like it. Not needing the drinking so much now [Bacchus proved that point - those two hours still haven't returned] but needing the social side now - but of course, the big scheme of it is that we do social to find a mate, to then settle down and have happy families - well - I not got that. My ma and pa are good, but stopped living with Ma when I was 18. Still i touch an love them dearly, but what I mean is that at my age people are supposed [grin - pass the life rule book, wanna check this] to have a house, kids and white picket fence. I got overdraft. No partner [male of female]. A dilapidated car. A minor paunch/belly. Vaguely satisfying, if knackering and unappreciative working job - and for what - to retire for the mother wage... - well, dear reader, suggestions on a postcard to "I'm not satisfied, Po Box L1mb0, London...

Emotions

I'm sitting at a friends house.
We've just been to a LARP that shall remain nameless as I'm going to be referring to people there.
I'm planning to run an event soon and the internal politics - poeple getting angry at other people from others ets and games. Sigh. There we go then.

Currently people are discussing other people and their options and attitudes.
Now.
Reflections on the events- things to ponder upon
Playing a creature who manipulates emotions - pleasure and pain [s&m, thoughts, echoes - memories here..]
A player who, unfortunately due to his past [losing family in a car accident and only recalling a loud noise] not reacting well - obviously - to surprise loud noises. Like me yelling BOO in the dark.
Guilt
upset.
Feeling their emotions, memories - knowing the cause of it was me, knowing the pain of loss and the intesnisty of a recollection - knowing there was nothing I could do to help.
What do I do? Intensified by then others doing the same to him, because I did it to them earlier...
tiredness.
thoughts
echoes. ideas. a need for sleep and heat being too hot.
nice food sttttling in my stomach.