renaming the blog?

I'm 30.
part of me, the 12-17 year old of me thought I would never make it - not in a morbid- "I'm gonna die" but in a prophecy, examination of future way of course, I may be dead and not know it - but as I feel alive still, I'm gonna assume the best/worst and be alive some more.
So - 30.
My bed breaks, I have a snowball fight [it snowed on my birthday in London - how cool?!!], lovely drink sessions with friends - watch a burlesque show [mainly a set of drag artists - very good bu not really that 'burlesque' - still fun though, 30 kisses in as many minutes, skulls with disco-balls in [thanks queen of zombies for that], sabine baring gould, chocolate mushrooms, re wine, more red wine, mead, a lovely Indian dinner, some great books, friends, a day off work sick, catch up with work, losing my mobile phone, tutoring, being exhausted - yes, life is pretty much the same, but with more clutter and fun things to play with.

this weekend I go to Somerset and Bristol/bath.

next w/e, i go to devon.

then is run up to Christmas - my bsl exam is next Thursday and, oh yes, my life is still chaotic, calm and dull yet's full of friends and having fun - sigh - wanting more and at the same time just wanting to rest for a bit - had 12 hours sleep yesterday, woke up in middle of night though due to inability to sleep more than 7 hours now.

Now - now I'm trying to get to sleep - updating my blog and wondering whether or not i go straight to he southwest from work and, if so, whether i should pack my overnight bags now or later tomorrow morning - ...
whats a jet setter like me supposed to do??
[sleep...]

getting a cake out of my wife

ok - well that title could have been slightly less innuendo - tomorrow night I'm going to the World's End Pub in Camden - yay me - my birthday celebrations in london kick off....
10 pm firday night my wife [long story short: basically a woman called Alexia on new year's eve a few year's back, said that she couldn't be embarrassed - i said i could - I stood on a chair and announced that I'd like everyone in that pub to raise a glass to my new wife to be as I has just asked her to marry me and she had said yes [ she hadn't done anything of the sort]
she, me 'wife' went scarlet, and for the next hour people congratulated us, one even bought us both a drink!!!

so yes - tomorrow she's brining cake hopefully, my friends from uni are coming and some others from LARP and we will all get messy with booze... yay

egg moon

So, on the way home from a debauched night out at 'fire', two children describing the moon as an egg - and yes, indeed, it did look like an egg in the sky!
I'm tired but celebrating my 30th in good fashion - if you're reading this and in Devon, I'm coming there in three weeks time - next weekend in London - eating in Babur on the Sunday after going to a burlesque show the night before [ and GAY late as wel I imagine!]
OK - thats generally it
for now - i need sleep...

cock in frock on rock

People aren't chocolates. People are just bastard covered bastards with bastard filling.- scrubs

Not how I feel at all, just really like the quote.

How DO I feel? A few people asking me that recently - apart from the obvious - meh - I'm not to sure - I'm living every day from one to the next, like most people, mindful of the world going on, the wars, the elections of new people etc. but in truth - I don't really care abut anything outside of me own world of experience? Selfish - probably, but that's the truth of things right now.

It's my 30th in a few weeks, I don' really know or care abou the next number, despite this blog being names after the belief of Saturn returning being a major influence in my life and the baggage that comes with '30' - but heck, 23rd of this month, I become a year older.
I'm still being a tart, a bad man, a single guy looking for love in allthe wrong places - and, ultimately [and this is the true sense of irony] - finding it but usually in couples. Yes, dear friends, I'm the third wheel on many lover's bicycles at the moment. A good or bad things - well it gets me attention adn some 'lovin'' but just highlights the loneliness when I return back from the meaty places of the north [you know who you are] and sleep in a large empty bed.
What to do - whine on a log? Watch re-runs of Scrubs? Eat pizza after a meal already eaten? so far so good then...

Poisonous Monkeys, sore ribs and a great deal of fun

And so it came to an end
The LARP [Live action role play]] that I was running and planned for over a season now fully played out over the past weekend. More will be written on it when I m less tired, but needless to say, EVERYONE enjoyed themselves [a rarity in ANY Larp] all went well and, ultimately, we ended up saving the world but starting the seeds for WW2. A good turn of affairs I think?!

Now, I've got to get ready for work tomorrow - would like a day off but not risking it, esp with temperamental departments - thanks to anyone who came to play or crew - Caroline, if you're reading this - had a GREAT time with everyone you sent to me, no anti-matter and a good end night last night too...

Take care good reader, happy All Hallow's and tread carefully once more into the night...

28 hours later

greetings reader
The difference a day can make huh? Ok - so despite being melancholic, I decided to haul myself to the World Zombie Day.
Well worth it, and now, I'm dripping after a bath to remove the gore, the bruising face paint and the talc in the hair.
All good. Mny new friends made and...grin... a date as well.
Yes, when you're not looking for it - blahblahblah - but hey - out of the ball park - not expecting it to happen due to nature of who was asking and the state they were in = but heck - not complaining at all if it were to happen!
Right- onwards to plan my live cthulhu event this friday - eek - contacting many people in quick fashion!
Hugs to all

feeling left out

A friend of mine is soon to get married.
tonight was his stag night.
Like many good stag dos, you invite those people you want to make it a good night.
I was not on the list.

Yet my housemate was. My housemate who is in his 60s. My housemate who agreed to have two people here to stay the night from the stag do. I think that is why my housemate got his invite. That and he has known the groom for much longer than I.

So, when my housemate has decided to go away for the weekend, and I thought - excellent house to myslef, and then get told the night before he's gong that people will be staying, from the stag do I'v not been invited to, I was instantly given a range of emotions to play with.
Bitterness / anger / resentment / loss / neglect / ...

Yet I have played perfect host, EVEN WHEN they ALL turn up and play rounds of cards for a few hours downstairs while I try to sleep.
How can I not feel upset? I'm a human being who, while putting on a brave face, have had NOONE to go out with for over two months now. I'm feeling like my life is s lowly dripping away and my mates are all getting with their lives - getting married, buying property, having children - perhas this is the key issue but it was all epitimised by the 6 guys downstairs playing cards.

I'm lonely. tired. upset. an now can't sleep on a night where the clocks go back and I could have been out [would have been out perhaps one lifetime ago]...

I'm impatient with being patient...