mayfest

message from ian - one of the two guys i live with :
only two poeple have paid so far - if you wanna go, please get some payment to ian asap or event wont run...

watching me watching you

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/pressass/20080410/tuk-school-catchment-family-spied-on-6323e80.html
check out above link - please

10.51 - do you know where your washing is?

so yes, doing washing. cleaning. tidying up. the mundane, usual, ordinary.
trying not to get embroiled anymore in family politics but heck, i'm a human being who cares so hard not to...
shrug
gotta get stuff sorted for funeral on monday - hope all well with you reader - will pass onyour well wishes to my friends who have a christening tomorrow... where there's death, there's life.

update - got locked out. teehee...
now back in.
getting ready for tonmights ctulhu - ooh ooh - can print things out now as well - yay me...
skips slightly

tiredness

and so, one day abck, and i've spent most of the day in. not doing much - just chilling and frankly, it feels good.
tiring, but god..
now, got to work out where to put all of my books that i brought back with me

number 70

i've ranted and railed about how my family have treaten me - to a few friends now - that it only leaves the siple facts which, being tired, i don't want to rake over. but i will because i am a man of my word.
my great uncle ronnie died 2 fridays ago.
my nan, obvously upset, asked me to help out
i got papers from his house to help identify if there was a will, what it said if so, and where solictor was if not.
found will, unsigned, unwitnessed.
found solicitor who ahd an invalid will
meaning everything would go to other side of family.
cue three days of denying my faily the papers i'd gathered while i sought legal advice and my nan turned.
my nan is not well, my cousin wants to do things his own way and my mum, aunt and myself are caught in the middle - with me the bad guy
i amde an oath:
i will not talk to my nan again until she communicates with me first.

i meant and mean it though - enough is enough

i also got an email from a friend who i have a history wih - discussing our differences and similaities, highligting cerain truths which, while i am raw, aren't worth focussing on right now - tomorrow.


i also went to radstock and asw another friend onroute - though i lef behind m bel... careless... won't say why but i'm sure, dear reader, you can fill in some blanks.
yes, even in desir and anger i can find time for amusing myself...



i will rest now. long. then tidy evrything up again and prepare for this upcoming week... the storm is just gathering...

positivity

LIVE WORK LOVE
LAUGH GATHER GREET
STAY TRADE TRAVEL
BELIEVE BUILD
EAT DRINK & PLAY
SEE HEAR TASTE
TOUCH SIT
BREATHE SLEEP
TEACH LEARN
CARE CREATE
SOW GROW & REAP

these words are in shardeloes road on the way to new cross from brockley in london.
good words.
words that, right now, seem ever more important

write it and it will happen?

last three titles - death.
coincidence? As I'm progressing on in my life, looking at my spiritual development, trying not to be egocentric but self-focussed instead [difference will be explained one day!] I'm noticing more and more the patterns that occur around me.
is it more than just noting the patterns with divination?
Shrug
Anyhow - Ronnie left no valid will. My maternal family are sorting things out - or trying to.
If youa re reading this and have more assets than 10pence, write a will. Get it signed and witnessed. Please.
My family this week have gone through ehll, I have had to keep secrets, enquire about law and learn more about family dynamics than i thought previously possible.
Sigh
And now? Now my grandmother is grieving, upset, bitter and hardening tot eh world. "Its not about the money"
Yet it seems, after all, it is.
For those close to me in London, you know how things like this develoop in my family. For those elsewhere - I'll be coming to your doorstep real soon if things don't get balanced out.
This will tear my family apart unless it is calmed, sorted and organised and it is hard to watch that develop while knowing you ahve done all you can. To then have that hard work thrown back in your face hurts. Angers. REALLY angers.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,
mustn't call...
9
breathe
10
there
now where were we? ah yes. family. can't choose them...